...an open letter to my favorite nephew.
Jakob Dylan...
Part of me wants to skip this day completely and pretend another year hasn't passed us by. The thought of you turning into a teenager is almost too much for me to handle. I'm a bundle of emotions. I'm thrilled for you, because you're about to embark on a new chapter in your life. But, selfishly, I'm also sad...sad at how fast time flies. It seems like just yesterday I received the news in my high school chemistry class that you had made your entrance into this world...happy, and thankfully, healthy.
Not long after that, I was fortunate enough to move to Colorado and experience all you and your little attitude had to offer. Your giggle and zest for life was infectious. There were times I almost felt more like your big sister than your aunt...and there were times I had to stop myself mid-argument and remember I was fighting with a toddler. You had a unique way of pushing my buttons...but one look into your baby blues and my heart instantly melted. I still remember the time I decided to move back to Texas and you were nowhere to be found as we all said our goodbyes. We found you hidden behind the big chair at Black Bear in tears. My heart has never been shattered quite like that since then. I'm so incredibly thankful for the years I've had with you. Watching you grow into the young man you are now has been such a blessing. Your heart for others cannot be matched. I've always said you are the only boy who will ever hold my whole heart..and I'm so grateful for the bond that you and I have.
I heard a song not long ago by Brad Paisley. He sang about writing a letter to his younger self, and it got me thinking. There are so many things I look back on now that I wish I would have known when I was your age. You can refuse to read this, or think I'm completely uncool (which I am), but through the tears I'm going to write it anyway. When I told your mom I was doing this, she said she would sit down and read it to you, but I have a feeling her tears will flow a little more than even mine.
Never be afraid to be yourself...no one can tell you you're doing it wrong.
You were created in His image, and you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. Don't allow the influence of others to change who He created you to be. Looking back, there were so many times I made decisions based on the popularity of the choice. In junior high, all the cool kids were wearing Doc Martin shoes, so I did extra chores to earn enough money to buy my own pair. I hated them. They were heavy and clunky and ugly. I chose to spend my hard earned money on something I didn't even like just to fit in. Lesson learned. If you want to wear funky clothes or dye your hair purple, do it. If you want to pop your collar and tuck your shirt in, do it. If you want to play football (oh god, please be careful) and date the captain of the cheerleading squad (as long as she's nice to you), then do it. Be who you want to be. Be YOU, because you are perfect the way God made you.
Stick up for the underdog.
I am already so proud of you for being the guy who cares for others. You stand up to bullies and you have always stood your ground, no matter what. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their corner. Don't lose this. Kids are mean. You're about to venture into the years where kids will push others around or make fun of them for being who they are. Stick up for them like you always have. Your heart is so incredibly soft and precious when it comes to others and my wish for you is that you will continue down this path. Now, I'm not saying to go and beat anyone's ass. Violence doesn't solve anything and quite frankly the thought of my precious Jakob in a fight terrifies me. When I say 'stick up for the underdog,' I mean to make sure it's widely known you are a friend anyone can come to or talk to. I remember times when I would see people being picked on in the hallways at school and I was too afraid to stand up and say anything. Don't be afraid. Your character will shine and people will respect you because of this.
Love and protect your sisters. Always.
I probably don't even have to mention this, but this letter wouldn't be complete without it. I was fortunate enough to be blessed with three amazing older brothers, who to this day will protect me and fight for me. I know you've inherited that gene. The men in our family are amazing like that. I know your sisters will drive you crazy. My gosh, there's two of them and they look exactly alike. I remember the three of you sitting in the back seat of the car when they were still in car seats...you were in the middle...and all they did was torture you. That probably won't ever stop. That's how they show their love. It goes without saying that they are beautiful, so please do me a favor and make certain that every boy within 100 feet of them are aware that you exist and you will protect them no matter what. I know they will say and do things that will annoy you. They're going to make you crazy; it's their job. But, when you feel yourself getting irritated with them, take a deep breath and remember how blessed you are to have them in your life, and realize they're lucky God picked you to be their protector. Love them. Fight for them. Forgive them. And most of all, protect and comfort them. There is no greater gift, I promise.
Love can wait.
Love is patient. Just remember that phrase. I'm going to try to make this as least-awkward as I possibly can. I know at your age, girls are at the forefront of your mind. That's normal. They're pretty. Their hair smells good. They giggle and bat their eyelashes to get their way. Just remember to be a kid. Don't let girls take over your life. Enjoy things without them. Play sports, go hunting, go skiing or fishing...enjoy being a guy. And just remember that if you find yourself liking a girl, your mother and I have a strategic plan to hunt her down if she breaks your heart, so proceed with caution. We are a force to be reckoned with. Now, on the flipside. If a sweet girl approaches you and you just want to be friends, please, let her down easy. We will all face rejection, but believe me when I tell you a girl will carry it in her heart for the rest of her life.
Never EVER hesitate to call if you find yourself in trouble.
Let me make something clear. We aren't naïve. Your dad, mom and every other adult in your life are completely aware of what goes on in the teenage years. I'm sure you'll try to hide it like we all did. There are going to be parties...and there are going to be things going on at these parties that are going to be tempting. You're a smart kid. Your parents have done an impeccable job in raising you to know right from wrong. But, with that said, always know that if you find yourself in any kind of trouble, your best option is to call someone. Anyone. You have so many people in your life who love and care about you. I know making an initial phone call seems scary. You might think you'll be in more trouble with your parents, but please know, your safety and well-being are their number one priority. Don't put yourself in a situation you don't feel comfortable with. Please hear me and trust me when I say, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Drank alcohol? Call. Need a ride? Call. Feel uncomfortable? Call. See something that makes you uneasy? Call. We would rather you swallow your teenage pride and reach out to us than have something bad happen to you.
Put your family first and respect your mom and dad.
We might have our ups and downs, but we really do have an amazing family. I know sometimes we seem crazy, and some of us are ( I won't name names here)...but, always remember blood is thicker than water. Your family will always be there for you when you need us the most. We love without judgment and even when it seems like we're against you, everything we say and do comes from the bottom of our hearts. I know there are going to be times when it feels as if your parents aren't on your team. Trust me when I say, they are. You will look back one day and realize why they did certain things, or punished you at certain times. They know what they're doing. They've been in your shoes. It's best to come to the conclusion now that you are wrong and they will always be right. They prayed for you before you were born. You are their little boogie bear, and no matter how old you get, you always will be. They love you more than anything in this entire world and will do everything in their power to see you succeed. So, respect it. I know it's hard to see now, but one day you will understand. And let me also remind you that to honor your father and mother is one of the ten commandments. So, do it.
It's not the end of the world.
You're going to fail a test. You're going to face rejection. You're going to lose a game. It's all part of life. But just remember- it's not failure if you open yourself up and try. Take each situation and use it as a learning experience. I know when something negative happens, it's going to feel as if your whole world has come crashing down. Trust me when I say, it hasn't. Life will go on. The best thing you can do is to pick yourself back up and keep going. Show this world what you're made of. The most successful people on this planet didn't reach their goals on their first try.
Forgiveness isn't something we do for others. It's something we do for ourselves.
This is a toughie. Forgiveness can be unbelievably difficult, especially when you've been hurt by someone you care about. No matter how big or small the deceit, the pain can be critical. One day, I'll share with you my story of coming to terms with a tragic situation and realizing forgiveness was my only option in order to move on with my life. Forgiveness has to come from the most sincere part of your heart and I know how hard that can be. People are going to say or do things that make you angry or hurt your feelings, and it may take time to pick yourself up and move on, but once you're there, recovery sets in and life goes on. My best piece of wisdom here is to remember that true happiness and healing comes once you realize a proper apology may never come. Once you can accept that, the road to true forgiveness is so much easier. Just as Jesus forgives us of our sins, we must do the same for others. And I promise, life is so much more enjoyable when we allow God to work in our hearts and we can start to see others through His eyes.
Enjoy being a kid.
This year marks ten years since I graduated high school. A lot has happened since then, but looking back over my teenage years, I have no regrets. Get involved in everything your heart desires. Go to football games. Enjoy pep rallies. Join the drama club. Be a part of student council. Play in the band. Heck, I don't care if you want to be in the chess club. Just do it. These years are going to fly by. Enjoy every single second they have to offer. Go to school dances and don't sit on the sidelines. Get up and shake it. I can still remember singing the song "Shake Your Booty" while I'd change your diaper...you'd get up and dance and then fall back over because the giggles were just too much to handle. You'd dance as if no one else was watching. Don't lose that. Make memories that will last a lifetime.
I could seriously go on forever, but I think this is sufficient enough. I get emotional thinking about it, but quite honestly, I don't know if I will ever have children of my own, so you and your sisters could be as close as I get. And, that's okay with me. You have brightened my world immensely over the last thirteen years. Quite frankly, it's hard for me to even remember what life was like before you came along. If there's one thing you take away from this, let it be this. You are fiercely and unconditionally loved. Never, ever forget that.
xoxo.
Part of me wants to skip this day completely and pretend another year hasn't passed us by. The thought of you turning into a teenager is almost too much for me to handle. I'm a bundle of emotions. I'm thrilled for you, because you're about to embark on a new chapter in your life. But, selfishly, I'm also sad...sad at how fast time flies. It seems like just yesterday I received the news in my high school chemistry class that you had made your entrance into this world...happy, and thankfully, healthy.
Not long after that, I was fortunate enough to move to Colorado and experience all you and your little attitude had to offer. Your giggle and zest for life was infectious. There were times I almost felt more like your big sister than your aunt...and there were times I had to stop myself mid-argument and remember I was fighting with a toddler. You had a unique way of pushing my buttons...but one look into your baby blues and my heart instantly melted. I still remember the time I decided to move back to Texas and you were nowhere to be found as we all said our goodbyes. We found you hidden behind the big chair at Black Bear in tears. My heart has never been shattered quite like that since then. I'm so incredibly thankful for the years I've had with you. Watching you grow into the young man you are now has been such a blessing. Your heart for others cannot be matched. I've always said you are the only boy who will ever hold my whole heart..and I'm so grateful for the bond that you and I have.
I heard a song not long ago by Brad Paisley. He sang about writing a letter to his younger self, and it got me thinking. There are so many things I look back on now that I wish I would have known when I was your age. You can refuse to read this, or think I'm completely uncool (which I am), but through the tears I'm going to write it anyway. When I told your mom I was doing this, she said she would sit down and read it to you, but I have a feeling her tears will flow a little more than even mine.
Never be afraid to be yourself...no one can tell you you're doing it wrong.
You were created in His image, and you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. Don't allow the influence of others to change who He created you to be. Looking back, there were so many times I made decisions based on the popularity of the choice. In junior high, all the cool kids were wearing Doc Martin shoes, so I did extra chores to earn enough money to buy my own pair. I hated them. They were heavy and clunky and ugly. I chose to spend my hard earned money on something I didn't even like just to fit in. Lesson learned. If you want to wear funky clothes or dye your hair purple, do it. If you want to pop your collar and tuck your shirt in, do it. If you want to play football (oh god, please be careful) and date the captain of the cheerleading squad (as long as she's nice to you), then do it. Be who you want to be. Be YOU, because you are perfect the way God made you.
Stick up for the underdog.
I am already so proud of you for being the guy who cares for others. You stand up to bullies and you have always stood your ground, no matter what. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their corner. Don't lose this. Kids are mean. You're about to venture into the years where kids will push others around or make fun of them for being who they are. Stick up for them like you always have. Your heart is so incredibly soft and precious when it comes to others and my wish for you is that you will continue down this path. Now, I'm not saying to go and beat anyone's ass. Violence doesn't solve anything and quite frankly the thought of my precious Jakob in a fight terrifies me. When I say 'stick up for the underdog,' I mean to make sure it's widely known you are a friend anyone can come to or talk to. I remember times when I would see people being picked on in the hallways at school and I was too afraid to stand up and say anything. Don't be afraid. Your character will shine and people will respect you because of this.
Love and protect your sisters. Always.
I probably don't even have to mention this, but this letter wouldn't be complete without it. I was fortunate enough to be blessed with three amazing older brothers, who to this day will protect me and fight for me. I know you've inherited that gene. The men in our family are amazing like that. I know your sisters will drive you crazy. My gosh, there's two of them and they look exactly alike. I remember the three of you sitting in the back seat of the car when they were still in car seats...you were in the middle...and all they did was torture you. That probably won't ever stop. That's how they show their love. It goes without saying that they are beautiful, so please do me a favor and make certain that every boy within 100 feet of them are aware that you exist and you will protect them no matter what. I know they will say and do things that will annoy you. They're going to make you crazy; it's their job. But, when you feel yourself getting irritated with them, take a deep breath and remember how blessed you are to have them in your life, and realize they're lucky God picked you to be their protector. Love them. Fight for them. Forgive them. And most of all, protect and comfort them. There is no greater gift, I promise.
Love can wait.
Love is patient. Just remember that phrase. I'm going to try to make this as least-awkward as I possibly can. I know at your age, girls are at the forefront of your mind. That's normal. They're pretty. Their hair smells good. They giggle and bat their eyelashes to get their way. Just remember to be a kid. Don't let girls take over your life. Enjoy things without them. Play sports, go hunting, go skiing or fishing...enjoy being a guy. And just remember that if you find yourself liking a girl, your mother and I have a strategic plan to hunt her down if she breaks your heart, so proceed with caution. We are a force to be reckoned with. Now, on the flipside. If a sweet girl approaches you and you just want to be friends, please, let her down easy. We will all face rejection, but believe me when I tell you a girl will carry it in her heart for the rest of her life.
Never EVER hesitate to call if you find yourself in trouble.
Let me make something clear. We aren't naïve. Your dad, mom and every other adult in your life are completely aware of what goes on in the teenage years. I'm sure you'll try to hide it like we all did. There are going to be parties...and there are going to be things going on at these parties that are going to be tempting. You're a smart kid. Your parents have done an impeccable job in raising you to know right from wrong. But, with that said, always know that if you find yourself in any kind of trouble, your best option is to call someone. Anyone. You have so many people in your life who love and care about you. I know making an initial phone call seems scary. You might think you'll be in more trouble with your parents, but please know, your safety and well-being are their number one priority. Don't put yourself in a situation you don't feel comfortable with. Please hear me and trust me when I say, IT'S NOT WORTH IT. Drank alcohol? Call. Need a ride? Call. Feel uncomfortable? Call. See something that makes you uneasy? Call. We would rather you swallow your teenage pride and reach out to us than have something bad happen to you.
Put your family first and respect your mom and dad.
We might have our ups and downs, but we really do have an amazing family. I know sometimes we seem crazy, and some of us are ( I won't name names here)...but, always remember blood is thicker than water. Your family will always be there for you when you need us the most. We love without judgment and even when it seems like we're against you, everything we say and do comes from the bottom of our hearts. I know there are going to be times when it feels as if your parents aren't on your team. Trust me when I say, they are. You will look back one day and realize why they did certain things, or punished you at certain times. They know what they're doing. They've been in your shoes. It's best to come to the conclusion now that you are wrong and they will always be right. They prayed for you before you were born. You are their little boogie bear, and no matter how old you get, you always will be. They love you more than anything in this entire world and will do everything in their power to see you succeed. So, respect it. I know it's hard to see now, but one day you will understand. And let me also remind you that to honor your father and mother is one of the ten commandments. So, do it.
It's not the end of the world.
You're going to fail a test. You're going to face rejection. You're going to lose a game. It's all part of life. But just remember- it's not failure if you open yourself up and try. Take each situation and use it as a learning experience. I know when something negative happens, it's going to feel as if your whole world has come crashing down. Trust me when I say, it hasn't. Life will go on. The best thing you can do is to pick yourself back up and keep going. Show this world what you're made of. The most successful people on this planet didn't reach their goals on their first try.
Forgiveness isn't something we do for others. It's something we do for ourselves.
This is a toughie. Forgiveness can be unbelievably difficult, especially when you've been hurt by someone you care about. No matter how big or small the deceit, the pain can be critical. One day, I'll share with you my story of coming to terms with a tragic situation and realizing forgiveness was my only option in order to move on with my life. Forgiveness has to come from the most sincere part of your heart and I know how hard that can be. People are going to say or do things that make you angry or hurt your feelings, and it may take time to pick yourself up and move on, but once you're there, recovery sets in and life goes on. My best piece of wisdom here is to remember that true happiness and healing comes once you realize a proper apology may never come. Once you can accept that, the road to true forgiveness is so much easier. Just as Jesus forgives us of our sins, we must do the same for others. And I promise, life is so much more enjoyable when we allow God to work in our hearts and we can start to see others through His eyes.
Enjoy being a kid.
This year marks ten years since I graduated high school. A lot has happened since then, but looking back over my teenage years, I have no regrets. Get involved in everything your heart desires. Go to football games. Enjoy pep rallies. Join the drama club. Be a part of student council. Play in the band. Heck, I don't care if you want to be in the chess club. Just do it. These years are going to fly by. Enjoy every single second they have to offer. Go to school dances and don't sit on the sidelines. Get up and shake it. I can still remember singing the song "Shake Your Booty" while I'd change your diaper...you'd get up and dance and then fall back over because the giggles were just too much to handle. You'd dance as if no one else was watching. Don't lose that. Make memories that will last a lifetime.
I could seriously go on forever, but I think this is sufficient enough. I get emotional thinking about it, but quite honestly, I don't know if I will ever have children of my own, so you and your sisters could be as close as I get. And, that's okay with me. You have brightened my world immensely over the last thirteen years. Quite frankly, it's hard for me to even remember what life was like before you came along. If there's one thing you take away from this, let it be this. You are fiercely and unconditionally loved. Never, ever forget that.
xoxo.
I hope the days come easy and the moments pass slow
and each road leads you where you want to go
and if you're faced with a choice and you have to choose
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you
and if one door opens to another door closed
I hope you keep on walking til you find the window
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile...
...I hope you never look back but you never forget
all the ones who love you in the place you left
I hope you always forgive and you never regret
and you help somebody every chance you get
Oh, you find God's grace in every mistake
and always give more than you take...
...my wish for you is that this life becomes all that you want it to
your dreams stay big
and your worries stay small
you never need to carry more than you can hold
and while you're out there getting where you're getting to
I hope you know somebody loves you
and wants the same things too
yeah, this...
is my wish.