Sometimes I sit in church and feel like the preacher is speaking directly to me, as if no one else is in the room. He doesn't know me by name, but for some reason, he knows exactly what I've been through and has decided to use my experiences to frame his Sunday sermon. There are times I slowly sink down in my chair, knowing that the lessons he's trying to teach are most definitely aimed at me. I can feel his eyes trying to make contact with mine as I pretend I can't hear him and quickly look away. Maybe if I don't look him in the eye, I'll become invisible. Even when I try to ignore him, his words still pierce my soul. Quite honestly, I don't attend church often, but every time I do, I walk away knowing I was meant to be there. I was meant to hear his words so I can apply them to my life. It goes back to Baron Batch's theory-- maybe there really is a reason for everything.
This particular quote did the exact same thing to me the day I saw it on Pinterest. I glanced at it as I was skimming the page and quickly read through it, not really letting the words sink in. The word "storm" kept jumping out at me, so I read it again. It's as if the words were trying to make eye contact with me. I was trying to ignore it and continue scrolling, but my heart was telling me to take this quote and run with it. It's as if someone posted it just for me. Whoever it was knew I had been through a raging storm, yet wanted me to know I came out a changed person. Whenever I feel inspired to write, I'm impatient. I have to sit at my computer in complete silence and just let the words flow. I can't be bothered by noise or racket. But, for some reason, I sat on this idea for several weeks. This quote has been sitting in a folder on my desktop...just waiting to be used. Waiting its turn to be put into my heart and for me to form some kind of inspiration for others to read. I'm finally ready. So, here goes nothing.
I've been absolutely horrified by tornadoes for as long as I can remember. Growing up in West Texas, I had to learn to handle the threat of tornadoes often. I can remember my parents teaching me the difference between a "watch" and a "warning" as I listened to the weather forecast in complete terror. To this day, I don't care which one it is. If a tornado "watch" means there was one spotted a million miles away, rest assured I will take my pillow and blanket to the bathtub. No way am I going down without a fight. I can remember the sheer panic as a little girl; covering my head with my blanket as the thunder would roll on. My mom would sit with me and try to soothe my ridiculous emotions by talking me through it and wiping the crocodile tears as they streamed down my face. She had this amazing quality of being able to calm me down, even in the middle of such disarray and fear. I'd usually end up falling asleep, and hours later I would wake up and it would all be over...almost as if it had all just been a horrible nightmare. Was the storm really over? Am I safe to come out of hiding now? Was our house still standing? All these questions clouded my brain, even as a child. If you've ever experienced a tornado, you know that when it's all said and done, no matter the damage, you can walk outside and experience nothing but complete silence. Everything is calm and still. And sometimes, you may even spot a rainbow. How ironic that something so beautiful could come out of something so terrifying. In some cases, communities are left to pick up the pieces; sometimes taking years to rebuild. It almost feels like the storm is never really over. You have memory of how things used to be. New structures might be placed where historic ones once stood...constant reminders of the scars left by one storm. One moment in time. The priceless thing about a storm like this is a person can walk away changed. They will never be the same. They will never look at their possessions the same way. Blessings will be counted more often, hugs will be granted in abundance and "I Love You" will be overused. Change...it's what happens when a storm passes.
We all experience personal struggles...storms that come at the most imperfect time that seem to interrupt life in such a way that it feels as if you've been thrown into raging waters without a lifejacket. My storm came in the way of a group of people at a party who took advantage of my vulnerability. They spotted the perfect target, and whether they knew at the time or not, they scarred me for life. They were my tornado. The strong structures of my being were torn down and ripped apart. There was no piecing myself back together. I was forced to rebuild myself in such a way that literally took years to create. New pieces of my character have been added on as the years have gone by. I came out of that raging storm a changed person. I will never, ever be the same as I was eight years ago. I count my blessings a million times over now and thank the good Lord that I'm alive. I hug those I love a little tighter and pray harder when I'm not with them. I'm a different person, and I have my storm to thank for that. I don't know if the storm will ever really be over. I will always look back on that fateful New Years Eve night and remember the girl I used to be. I still have days when I have an internal struggle with myself and feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. There are days I want to curl up in a ball and not talk to anyone. I sometimes question myself as to why I decided to share my story in the first place. I don't think very many people realize how difficult it can be to stand before a crowd and give them so much of myself. Everytime I tell my story, I'm re-living it. But, I feel led to be the voice behind this disgusting act that is so rarely spoke of. Just like my mama was for me when I was a terrified little girl; hiding underneath the blanket as the storm raged on, I want to be the calm in the midst of someone's storm.
After what seems like months of talking with several contacts at Texas A&M, the Membership Education Vice President of the
Alpha Delta Pi sorority has asked to host a special event campus-wide in March, featuring me as their speaker. I am incredibly honored and humbled by this amazing opportunity. It's been my goal all along to somehow reach young people and there's no better way to start then by jumping in with both feet. Who knew that God had such big plans? A big part of me is absolutely terrified. What if I get on stage and freeze? What if I forget all the words I've so carefully constructed? I'm not a professionally trained public speaker. Give me a microphone and Lord only knows what you're in for. How much of the details do I really need to share? Do I need to tailor my words to protect those I love who will be in the audience? I've come to an easy conclusion...speak from my heart. It helped last time, let's all pray it works this time around. I'd love to see familiar faces in the crowd, so if you're in the area, feel free to join. It would mean the world to me. The support and encouragement I've received up to this point has been amazing. Bring your tissues...I might need to borrow a few. I never make promises I can't keep, but my hope is that you'll walk away with a renewed sense of life...how important the 'little' decisions we make really are...and how each of us has the ability to be the calm in someone else's storm.
Until then...
journey on.
This particular quote did the exact same thing to me the day I saw it on Pinterest. I glanced at it as I was skimming the page and quickly read through it, not really letting the words sink in. The word "storm" kept jumping out at me, so I read it again. It's as if the words were trying to make eye contact with me. I was trying to ignore it and continue scrolling, but my heart was telling me to take this quote and run with it. It's as if someone posted it just for me. Whoever it was knew I had been through a raging storm, yet wanted me to know I came out a changed person. Whenever I feel inspired to write, I'm impatient. I have to sit at my computer in complete silence and just let the words flow. I can't be bothered by noise or racket. But, for some reason, I sat on this idea for several weeks. This quote has been sitting in a folder on my desktop...just waiting to be used. Waiting its turn to be put into my heart and for me to form some kind of inspiration for others to read. I'm finally ready. So, here goes nothing.
I've been absolutely horrified by tornadoes for as long as I can remember. Growing up in West Texas, I had to learn to handle the threat of tornadoes often. I can remember my parents teaching me the difference between a "watch" and a "warning" as I listened to the weather forecast in complete terror. To this day, I don't care which one it is. If a tornado "watch" means there was one spotted a million miles away, rest assured I will take my pillow and blanket to the bathtub. No way am I going down without a fight. I can remember the sheer panic as a little girl; covering my head with my blanket as the thunder would roll on. My mom would sit with me and try to soothe my ridiculous emotions by talking me through it and wiping the crocodile tears as they streamed down my face. She had this amazing quality of being able to calm me down, even in the middle of such disarray and fear. I'd usually end up falling asleep, and hours later I would wake up and it would all be over...almost as if it had all just been a horrible nightmare. Was the storm really over? Am I safe to come out of hiding now? Was our house still standing? All these questions clouded my brain, even as a child. If you've ever experienced a tornado, you know that when it's all said and done, no matter the damage, you can walk outside and experience nothing but complete silence. Everything is calm and still. And sometimes, you may even spot a rainbow. How ironic that something so beautiful could come out of something so terrifying. In some cases, communities are left to pick up the pieces; sometimes taking years to rebuild. It almost feels like the storm is never really over. You have memory of how things used to be. New structures might be placed where historic ones once stood...constant reminders of the scars left by one storm. One moment in time. The priceless thing about a storm like this is a person can walk away changed. They will never be the same. They will never look at their possessions the same way. Blessings will be counted more often, hugs will be granted in abundance and "I Love You" will be overused. Change...it's what happens when a storm passes.
We all experience personal struggles...storms that come at the most imperfect time that seem to interrupt life in such a way that it feels as if you've been thrown into raging waters without a lifejacket. My storm came in the way of a group of people at a party who took advantage of my vulnerability. They spotted the perfect target, and whether they knew at the time or not, they scarred me for life. They were my tornado. The strong structures of my being were torn down and ripped apart. There was no piecing myself back together. I was forced to rebuild myself in such a way that literally took years to create. New pieces of my character have been added on as the years have gone by. I came out of that raging storm a changed person. I will never, ever be the same as I was eight years ago. I count my blessings a million times over now and thank the good Lord that I'm alive. I hug those I love a little tighter and pray harder when I'm not with them. I'm a different person, and I have my storm to thank for that. I don't know if the storm will ever really be over. I will always look back on that fateful New Years Eve night and remember the girl I used to be. I still have days when I have an internal struggle with myself and feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. There are days I want to curl up in a ball and not talk to anyone. I sometimes question myself as to why I decided to share my story in the first place. I don't think very many people realize how difficult it can be to stand before a crowd and give them so much of myself. Everytime I tell my story, I'm re-living it. But, I feel led to be the voice behind this disgusting act that is so rarely spoke of. Just like my mama was for me when I was a terrified little girl; hiding underneath the blanket as the storm raged on, I want to be the calm in the midst of someone's storm.
After what seems like months of talking with several contacts at Texas A&M, the Membership Education Vice President of the
Alpha Delta Pi sorority has asked to host a special event campus-wide in March, featuring me as their speaker. I am incredibly honored and humbled by this amazing opportunity. It's been my goal all along to somehow reach young people and there's no better way to start then by jumping in with both feet. Who knew that God had such big plans? A big part of me is absolutely terrified. What if I get on stage and freeze? What if I forget all the words I've so carefully constructed? I'm not a professionally trained public speaker. Give me a microphone and Lord only knows what you're in for. How much of the details do I really need to share? Do I need to tailor my words to protect those I love who will be in the audience? I've come to an easy conclusion...speak from my heart. It helped last time, let's all pray it works this time around. I'd love to see familiar faces in the crowd, so if you're in the area, feel free to join. It would mean the world to me. The support and encouragement I've received up to this point has been amazing. Bring your tissues...I might need to borrow a few. I never make promises I can't keep, but my hope is that you'll walk away with a renewed sense of life...how important the 'little' decisions we make really are...and how each of us has the ability to be the calm in someone else's storm.
Until then...
journey on.