I've tried to sit down and write this for weeks, only to get so emotional that I can never finish. For some reason, putting 30 years of memories into carefully orchestrated words hasn't been very easy.
I've always been told that any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a Dad. Nothing rings more true when it comes to you. I've never really been the mushy type, but go ahead and grab a tissue. I hope you enjoy the journey we're about to take.
LOVE IS PATIENT.
Oh my goodness, is it ever. Your patience must surpass anyone else's on planet Earth. I drove the family car into the house when I was 2, yet you still were brave enough to teach me to drive at 16. You were the dad who would patiently allow me to hold (or drop?) your flashlight under the hood of the car while you were playing mechanic. You taught me how to hit a baseball, no matter how many times you tossed the ball and I let it roll right past me. You cheered when I finally hit it over the fence...almost as if I'd conquered the world. You introduced me to The Beatles and were patient when I rolled my eyes and told you they were lame. You knew one day I'd come around. And only you would be patient enough to take me shoe shopping when no one else would. We'd go to every store at least twice until finally settling on a ridiculous pair of Jellies that you knew I'd complain about later. But, you were patient. Never once did you become frustrated or irritated. I'm sure there were times you would clench your teeth behind your smile, but your patience always shined.
LOVE IS KIND.
Genuine kindness is a gift that not many possess. Thank God this is one of your strongest qualities. I know growing up I put you through the ringer a few times...and I probably still do. No matter what choices I have made, you sit back and you allow me to make them. Never once has the kindness left your heart. But more than your kindness toward your children, it's the kindness you show others that means more. You have unknowingly taught me to put others before myself, and for that, I cannot ever thank you enough. You are someone who drops everything when someone calls you for help. You aren't just there for the ones you love, you are there for the ones you've never met.
IT DOES NOT ENVY, IT DOES NOT BOAST, IT IS NOT PROUD.
You have always taught me the importance of staying humble. No matter what I accomplish, I know who the glory should really go to. From the time I was old enough to walk, I have always wanted to make you proud. From the early days of gymnastics and sports, to the days of beauty pageants and television opportunities, your support and faith in me never waivered. Even at 30 years old, you encourage me like no other. There have been times when I've won, and there have been many times when I've lost. But, you have always taught me to take every failure and learn from it; that even in failure, success can be found. Even through the tears of loss, you taught me to walk away with my head held high and to thank God for every single opportunity. I know not everyone has been given the opportunities that I have and I will forever strive to remain humble in all that I do. You taught me that...and I'll forever be grateful.
IT DOES NOT DISHONOR OTHERS. IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING. IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED. IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS.
This is a big one. I don't know that I can accurately express how thankful I am that you have taught me the importance of loving others, no matter what. I look back over the years, and anytime I ever had a hateful thought towards another human being, your voice was loud and clear. Even when I faltered and knowingly chose to say hurtful words, my heart would pound, knowing it was wrong. You have always been someone who leads by example, and the honor you possess is one of your greatest characteristics. You never shame others. Your words are kind and chosen very carefully. I have a knack for randomly meeting people who know you...after all the years of working in the oil business and the years of playing softball, your presence is known in this town. I want you to know that every single person I have run across have used the same words to describe you: loyal and honest. What an amazing legacy you have. I can only hope to one day be half as honorable as you are.
You have always been a man of few words and quiet strength, and always slow to anger. No matter what I've done or what horrible choices I've made, you've been steady and consistent in making sure I have always felt loved. People make mistakes, but Lord knows I've made a lot. I've tested you in more ways than one. One moment in particular comes to mind. About five years ago, I made a choice to end my marriage. It was the most difficult and heart wrenching decision I've ever had to make. I was terrified of letting you down more than anyone. I had failed miserably at something that seemed to be so solid and sacred. I made the phone call to you and was as honest as I have ever been. It wasn't easy. You remember the tears. Even if you were upset, you never showed it. I knew you were disappointed, but you still made the decision to show me love and to wrap me up in kind words like you always have. You have always been the most important man in my life, and you showed it in those days and weeks following. You rescued me from a difficult situation and you guided me in the moments after. Even through the late nights and the drinking that followed, you knew I had to navigate the waters in my own way. You would gently (yet firmly) state your opinion, but you never used anger to put me in my place. Thank you. I needed that. And it's something I'll never forget. In my weakest moments, you were my quiet and steady strength. You have never kept a tally of wrongs (thank goodness...my list would be long)...you're very Christ-like in that way. Every day is a new day, and the slate is wiped clean. You love people not just in spite of their flaws, but you love people because of them.
IT DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL, BUT REJOICES IN TRUTH. IT ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES.
This one may be the most difficult to describe, but I believe with the journey I've had, it's the most important of them all. You have always been my greatest protector from the time I can remember. Not ever in an overbearing way, but your presence has always been felt. I know this might not be the easiest part to read, but I feel like it needs to be said. I can only imagine the pain and anguish you must have felt ten years ago when you got the phone call that I had been brutally taken advantage of. I didn't want to tell you. The pain I felt seemed small next to what you would feel. I never wanted to hurt you and if I could have kept it all a secret to keep that from happening, I probably would have. But, I was lost. I was confused. I remember sitting in the hospital bed thinking about how many miles away you were, and knowing the distance at that moment in time was harder on you than it was on me. For once in my life, you didn't have the physical ability to protect me. I can only imagine how helpless you felt. But, like always, you persevered. You rescued me yet again. You made the drive to Colorado and scooped me up and brought me home to Texas. You allowed me time to heal. There were many days the tears never stopped and I didn't want to get out of bed, but here you'd come. My Knight in Shining Armor; making sure I was taking care of myself. You allowed me to grieve and feel the pain as long as I needed to. I know on the inside you wanted to probably use your bare hands to kill the ones who hurt me, but you never let me see that side of things. You were always strong when I was weak. And you supported me and encouraged me in my journey to forgiveness. I don't know if you know this story, but not too long ago, I was sharing my journey with a group of young girls at the juvenile probation department. I was finally to the question and answer segment and someone said these words: "You say you've forgiven the ones who hurt you, but has your family forgiven them?" I didn't know how to answer that because it never occurred to me to ask. Maybe you have, and maybe you haven't. But what's amazing about you is that either way, you have always supported me. You've shown up to speaking engagements, even though I know listening to me speak probably hurts. You have always shown me that encouragement and support are two of the greatest forms of love. Thank you. Thank you for loving me and supporting me. Thank you for protecting me. But most importantly, thank you for protecting my heart.
So...there you have it. I hope you know after reading this how much you truly mean to me. I may not show it or say it often enough, but always know you're my #1. You've guided me through the last 30 years with grace and without judgment. You've not only taught me, but you have shown me what unconditional love really means. The lessons you have taught will be with me forever and always. Thank you for loving me through not only the good times, but the difficult times too. That's when I have needed it the most and you've never failed me. Your love has never failed.
Happy Fathers Day.
I've always been told that any man can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a Dad. Nothing rings more true when it comes to you. I've never really been the mushy type, but go ahead and grab a tissue. I hope you enjoy the journey we're about to take.
LOVE IS PATIENT.
Oh my goodness, is it ever. Your patience must surpass anyone else's on planet Earth. I drove the family car into the house when I was 2, yet you still were brave enough to teach me to drive at 16. You were the dad who would patiently allow me to hold (or drop?) your flashlight under the hood of the car while you were playing mechanic. You taught me how to hit a baseball, no matter how many times you tossed the ball and I let it roll right past me. You cheered when I finally hit it over the fence...almost as if I'd conquered the world. You introduced me to The Beatles and were patient when I rolled my eyes and told you they were lame. You knew one day I'd come around. And only you would be patient enough to take me shoe shopping when no one else would. We'd go to every store at least twice until finally settling on a ridiculous pair of Jellies that you knew I'd complain about later. But, you were patient. Never once did you become frustrated or irritated. I'm sure there were times you would clench your teeth behind your smile, but your patience always shined.
LOVE IS KIND.
Genuine kindness is a gift that not many possess. Thank God this is one of your strongest qualities. I know growing up I put you through the ringer a few times...and I probably still do. No matter what choices I have made, you sit back and you allow me to make them. Never once has the kindness left your heart. But more than your kindness toward your children, it's the kindness you show others that means more. You have unknowingly taught me to put others before myself, and for that, I cannot ever thank you enough. You are someone who drops everything when someone calls you for help. You aren't just there for the ones you love, you are there for the ones you've never met.
IT DOES NOT ENVY, IT DOES NOT BOAST, IT IS NOT PROUD.
You have always taught me the importance of staying humble. No matter what I accomplish, I know who the glory should really go to. From the time I was old enough to walk, I have always wanted to make you proud. From the early days of gymnastics and sports, to the days of beauty pageants and television opportunities, your support and faith in me never waivered. Even at 30 years old, you encourage me like no other. There have been times when I've won, and there have been many times when I've lost. But, you have always taught me to take every failure and learn from it; that even in failure, success can be found. Even through the tears of loss, you taught me to walk away with my head held high and to thank God for every single opportunity. I know not everyone has been given the opportunities that I have and I will forever strive to remain humble in all that I do. You taught me that...and I'll forever be grateful.
IT DOES NOT DISHONOR OTHERS. IT IS NOT SELF-SEEKING. IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED. IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS.
This is a big one. I don't know that I can accurately express how thankful I am that you have taught me the importance of loving others, no matter what. I look back over the years, and anytime I ever had a hateful thought towards another human being, your voice was loud and clear. Even when I faltered and knowingly chose to say hurtful words, my heart would pound, knowing it was wrong. You have always been someone who leads by example, and the honor you possess is one of your greatest characteristics. You never shame others. Your words are kind and chosen very carefully. I have a knack for randomly meeting people who know you...after all the years of working in the oil business and the years of playing softball, your presence is known in this town. I want you to know that every single person I have run across have used the same words to describe you: loyal and honest. What an amazing legacy you have. I can only hope to one day be half as honorable as you are.
You have always been a man of few words and quiet strength, and always slow to anger. No matter what I've done or what horrible choices I've made, you've been steady and consistent in making sure I have always felt loved. People make mistakes, but Lord knows I've made a lot. I've tested you in more ways than one. One moment in particular comes to mind. About five years ago, I made a choice to end my marriage. It was the most difficult and heart wrenching decision I've ever had to make. I was terrified of letting you down more than anyone. I had failed miserably at something that seemed to be so solid and sacred. I made the phone call to you and was as honest as I have ever been. It wasn't easy. You remember the tears. Even if you were upset, you never showed it. I knew you were disappointed, but you still made the decision to show me love and to wrap me up in kind words like you always have. You have always been the most important man in my life, and you showed it in those days and weeks following. You rescued me from a difficult situation and you guided me in the moments after. Even through the late nights and the drinking that followed, you knew I had to navigate the waters in my own way. You would gently (yet firmly) state your opinion, but you never used anger to put me in my place. Thank you. I needed that. And it's something I'll never forget. In my weakest moments, you were my quiet and steady strength. You have never kept a tally of wrongs (thank goodness...my list would be long)...you're very Christ-like in that way. Every day is a new day, and the slate is wiped clean. You love people not just in spite of their flaws, but you love people because of them.
IT DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL, BUT REJOICES IN TRUTH. IT ALWAYS PROTECTS, ALWAYS TRUSTS, ALWAYS HOPES, ALWAYS PERSEVERES.
This one may be the most difficult to describe, but I believe with the journey I've had, it's the most important of them all. You have always been my greatest protector from the time I can remember. Not ever in an overbearing way, but your presence has always been felt. I know this might not be the easiest part to read, but I feel like it needs to be said. I can only imagine the pain and anguish you must have felt ten years ago when you got the phone call that I had been brutally taken advantage of. I didn't want to tell you. The pain I felt seemed small next to what you would feel. I never wanted to hurt you and if I could have kept it all a secret to keep that from happening, I probably would have. But, I was lost. I was confused. I remember sitting in the hospital bed thinking about how many miles away you were, and knowing the distance at that moment in time was harder on you than it was on me. For once in my life, you didn't have the physical ability to protect me. I can only imagine how helpless you felt. But, like always, you persevered. You rescued me yet again. You made the drive to Colorado and scooped me up and brought me home to Texas. You allowed me time to heal. There were many days the tears never stopped and I didn't want to get out of bed, but here you'd come. My Knight in Shining Armor; making sure I was taking care of myself. You allowed me to grieve and feel the pain as long as I needed to. I know on the inside you wanted to probably use your bare hands to kill the ones who hurt me, but you never let me see that side of things. You were always strong when I was weak. And you supported me and encouraged me in my journey to forgiveness. I don't know if you know this story, but not too long ago, I was sharing my journey with a group of young girls at the juvenile probation department. I was finally to the question and answer segment and someone said these words: "You say you've forgiven the ones who hurt you, but has your family forgiven them?" I didn't know how to answer that because it never occurred to me to ask. Maybe you have, and maybe you haven't. But what's amazing about you is that either way, you have always supported me. You've shown up to speaking engagements, even though I know listening to me speak probably hurts. You have always shown me that encouragement and support are two of the greatest forms of love. Thank you. Thank you for loving me and supporting me. Thank you for protecting me. But most importantly, thank you for protecting my heart.
So...there you have it. I hope you know after reading this how much you truly mean to me. I may not show it or say it often enough, but always know you're my #1. You've guided me through the last 30 years with grace and without judgment. You've not only taught me, but you have shown me what unconditional love really means. The lessons you have taught will be with me forever and always. Thank you for loving me through not only the good times, but the difficult times too. That's when I have needed it the most and you've never failed me. Your love has never failed.
Happy Fathers Day.